Hepburn Bathhouse and Chanel swimwear...so Hot right now

I’m a wreck. Rundown from a cold that’s like the house guest who ignores the Three Day rule, pale hormonal skin that’s scaring away young children and lie-down-and-sleep-for-a-week tired from worrying about what the future holds for Gerry and me. As I’m half dozing over a Hot Toddie outside of Jimmy’s Bar, an outlandishly healthy looking chap parked his bicycle, stripped down to Lycra and sat next to me. Introducing himself in a posh Scottish accent as John Hibbert, new-ish General Manager at Hepburn Bathhouse & Spa. I didn’t even mentally plan our wedding…that’s how tired I was.  What DID Jimmy put in that Hot Toddie? I’d completely forgotten we were meeting for my story investigating the benefits of bathing in mineral water. Myth or Mystery?

Before I even have time to cough, John had raced into a detailed anthropological explanation of spas. Like Champagne, there’s a certain pedigree and authenticity attached to being a “spa,” grounded in the healing powers of mineral waters. Dating back to prehistoric times no less. Getting down to tin-tacks, this means that spas must have curative water therapies and bathing pools originating from authenticated water spring reserves to be worthy of the title. So while there are many methode traditionelles wrapped in fluffy bathrobes and slippers, Australia actually only has TWO genuine spas; thermal waters in Morningside Peninsula and mineral waters at Hepburn Bathhouse & Spa. (Everyone else should actually be called Spa Salone, or for the more cosmopolitan set, Institut De Beauté. Lovely titles, and so much more accurate).

With semantics out of the way, John moved on to how his beautiful Bathhouse could physically and visibly get me healthy again. Really? Mother and Father are emphatic the only thing that can get me healthy again is Any Man that will have me, a Wedding Dress and living Two Doors Down from them. None of those options are on the immediate horizon, so Hepburn Bathhouse & Spa it is!

While Hepburn Bathhouse has almost as many beautiful bathing options as Chanel’s S/S12 swimwear collection, John suggested 45 minutes in the Pure Mineral Water Bath to start my “visible difference” overhaul. Unlike the Atrium Relaxation Pool filled with 50% mineral water and heated to approximately 38°C, these private hot baths are 100% mineral water, freshly filled for each guest.

For the first 20 minutes, soaking in the murky mineralised and algae water, I’ll admit to being slightly skeptical. My mind racing with all the things I should be doing instead of lying here, with no apparent transformational results in sight. John had given me some scientific documentation on the benefits of medicinal bathing in Hepburn mineral water. Now seemed as good a time as any to start on background research.

From the slightly damp pile of papers, I learn that mineral water pumped from spring reserves beneath the Bathhouse Pavilion is internationally renowned for its high levels of Bicarbonate and Magnesium. Feeling a bit of a Dr Quinn Medicine Woman moment coming on here. Bicarbonate is essential for balancing the pH in your blood stream, which if out of kilter too long, can result in nerve and joint pain, insomnia, or issues with kidneys, bowel or pancreas. Incredibly, taking sodium bicarbonate tablets are not recommended as they produce a whole other set of repercussions, so bathing in Hepburn Mineral Water is actually on the prescription pads (for both preventative and reactive measures) of most doctors throughout Australia. Meanwhile Magnesium is equally as fabulous, responsible for over 300 chemical reactions in the body, coupled with maintaining healthy muscle, nerve and digestive functions. There’s a load of other goodies in the water as well, including Potassium, Calcium and Silica. People from all around the world come to Hepburn Bathhouse with everything from pulled muscles to digestive disorders, and leave all Energiser Bunny’ed Up. It’s not quite Loudres (in France), but I’m praying this is the battery charger that brings back my bounce.

I was just about to read the section on muscle tone when my body lifted off the marble base and started to float. Mesmorised by the gentle sway of feet popping up just above water level, all thoughts of PH levels, long lost muscle tone and why there isn’t a wedding dress hanging in my wardrobe simply ….. disappeared. The next 25 minutes evaporated into a gentle reverie until a quiet knock at the door, advised, “Time’s up.” Stepping out of the gigantic marbled bath felt like the end of a three week holiday in Fiji. All is well in the world again.

After drying off, moisturising all over with delicious honeydew body lotion, and wrapping up in a large white fluffy bathrobe, I floated over to the Salone wing. All the treatment rooms overlook native bush and a rambling stream. It’s lovely to be in a spa room with natural light and just an arm’s throw from nature. That’s therapeutic in itself. Next on the schedule was a deep tissue massage. In an all-time first, I fell asleep…. until jolted awake by my own snoring!  Definitely not a Prada moment. Thankfully the therapist graciously pretended not to notice. By the time my lovely therapist moved onto the La Gaia facial, I was back on the Fijian beach lounger listening to the waves quietly wash against the shore. To be honest, I don’t have much memory of the rest of that afternoon, except noticing upon arriving home that I’d driven the whole way in second gear.  Two hours later, I’m tucked up in bed fast asleep.

At 6am the following morning, I jumped up like the Energiser Bunny. That was a week ago and I’m still racing around with so much life and joie de vivre that friends are starting to comment. Miraculously my skin has also never looked better. Honestly. Blemishes have disappeared, bags gone from under my eyes and complexion looks fresher, less dry. Goodness me, I must have looked a wreck before!!  I’ve tried and tested many skin products over the years, (including some that have cost £500 for a small pot) but have never seen such a dramatic positive result. Incredible. Intrigued, I looked up La Gaia website and discovered that this simple naturaceutical brand is all about balancing the skin’s pH.  I have no idea what that means or whether there is any connection between the mineral water and La Gaia working together for an even more optimised result ? But having found the Prada of Skincare, I’m jumping head first into the world of La Gaia and going to find out. Watch this space.

Thank goodness there are locals rates at Hepburn Bathhouse as its already become my second home. And John, please stop looking so ridiculously healthy. The rest of us just can't keep up.

Gotta dash. 1001 things to do. (Oh and almost forgot. Mystery solved; bathing in mineral water is essential for life. Full Stop)

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